In a desperate attempt to improve the situation at Macclesfield Town Football Club following the departure of Mark Yates, Silkmen supporter crazyjoe sends a letter across to the English Channel to the one and only ‘Zizou’!!
Dear Mr. Zidane,
You may have heard that our club Macclesfield Town F.C. is currently without a manager and are desperately seeking someone of quality to get us out of our current predicament. I understand that you are currently unemployed and seeking a position and whilst it is rumoured that you are the manager-in-waiting for a well known North West Premier League club, whilst the current manager is still in situ, I thought it might be an ideal opportunity for you to gain some experience of managing an English Club, by taking over the reins at the Moss Rose. I accept this may only be on a temporary basis as the position at the Premier League Club may become vacant at any time, but it would give you a real feel for working in England and at the same time would be a major boost to our little club that are currently stranded at the bottom of the Football League.
What can we offer? Well I’m afraid the pay wouldn’t be what you usually expect, probably around £250 a week including a limited edition James Irlam Truck and a plentiful supply of SST golf balls from the legendary Myra Clark! We can probably, in addition stretch to putting you up in the local Premier Inn but only on a Bed and Breakfast basis, and we would of course require receipts for everything! We will also provide you with training kits and football boots – as long as they can be bought by yourself from Soccer Sports where we can secure a 5% discount which I am sure you will find to be a very attractive proposition! In addition, we will be prepared to offer you personal security in the shape of dedicated fan Mr. BIG Jim Goodwin, who also acts as an assistant groundsman. Jim is a legend at the club and would ensure that you remain safe at all times. The club can also provide you with a part-time Personal Trainer in the shape of Mr. Bobby Trafford who can perform this role alongside his current position as Press Officer. We also have a small, but dedicated fan base who will offer you their complete backing and support and I’m sure we can find volunteers for any other role you feel would be necessary.
Despite what seems to be a relatively small remuneration package, just think of the experience you will gain from managing a club who have very little money and pretty much survive from hand to mouth. How fantastic would that be on your CV if you managed to do the impossible and keep our tiny little club in the English Football League? That would certainly rank amongst your greatest achievements, and would show the whole footballing world your undoubted quality as a manager. I hope that you will seriously consider coming to our little club and giving our joint assistant managers Danny Whitaker and Neil Howarth the benefit of your undoubted experience so that when you do move down the road to lesser things at such far flung places as Old Trafford Manchester and Anfield in Liverpool. As a consequence they will be in the position to take up the mantle of joint managers and carry on the good work that you will undoubtedly endeavour to provide!
With kind regards,
On behalf of the fans of Macclesfield Town F.C.